Today I told myself that I wouldn't cry or be weighed down by the thought of my brother. Today I lied to myself. He is always on my heart. Sometimes the thought of him is more present and other times it's just there, waiting to be acknowledge. I have been told to just think of the good times with him and that will make the pain more bearable. I respectfully (on somedays disrespectfully) disagree. The good times just remind me that there will be no more good times. That the good times are just a memory and you can't hug a memory. You can't tell a memory how much you love them. You can't tell a memory that they left a gapping hole in so many people's lives. You can't tell a memory that you hope they are proud of you. You can't tell a memory that you always looked up to them and they will always be your big brother. Somedays I think that this is a dream and I just need to wake up. Rory, taught me how to ride my first bike. The bike that he, Luke and Seth ...