life. and everything in between

It is our Senior year at Whitworth University. Tabitha and I are both students who decided to go back to college later in life. I am 26 years old and Tabitha is 33 years old. We are your non-traditional students.  We have found that our conversations are also non-traditional. I have decided to keep a record of the ridiculous things that come out of our mouth due to the stress of graduating. We have already had many laughs over the things that have been blurted out with no filter. Please Enjoy our rambling thoughts. Try to guess who said what! This will be updated as our Senior year goes on.... "We are good Senior Thesis partners. Expect when we feed into each other's neuroticism." "Where's my water bottle. Oh there it is, I can't see passed my boobs." "How am I going to help people when I can't even help myself most days." "Why are we doing this? What's the point of trying." "Why did we pick this topic?" ...

Today I told myself that I wouldn't cry or be weighed down by the thought of my brother. Today I lied to myself. He is always on my heart. Sometimes the thought of him is more present and other times it's just there, waiting to be acknowledge. I have been told to just think of the good times with him and that will make the pain more bearable. I respectfully (on somedays disrespectfully) disagree. The good times just remind me that there will be no more good times. That the good times are just a memory and you can't hug a memory. You can't tell a memory how much you love them. You can't tell a memory that they left a gapping hole in so many people's lives. You can't tell a memory that you hope they are proud of you. You can't tell a memory that you always looked up to them and they will always be your big brother. Somedays I think that this is a dream and I just need to wake up. Rory, taught me how to ride my first bike. The bike that he, Luke and Seth ...

Superstar Summer Camp is not just a regular camp, this camp is specifically designed for children in the foster care system. These are kids who's lives have been turned upside down and inside out. They do not have the same opportunities as other children their age might have. It is designed for children who get left behind because of behavioral problems, children who get left behind because they don't have the money for camp, children who get left behind because someone some where deemed them unworthy of love. I just wanted to share my experience at camp and how these children changed my life forever. Let me take you through a quick verbal tour of what the camp's schedule looked like. The cabin leaders showed up a day before the campers so that we could set up our cabins and prepare for them to come! Each cabin had two leaders and four campers. The point of such small cabins is that the kiddos get to have as much one on one attention as possible. We do not want any kiddo ...

 Life sometimes just feels overwhelming. To the point that, where we start to wonder if there will ever be light. Will there ever be a time when you are actually standing on your two feet rather then lying on your back. I have been reading and watching Lord of the Rings this summer and I just finished watching The Two Towers. I thought about trying to describe the scene but then I figure why do that when there is Youtube... I have seen this scene way to many times to admit but it struck me that the good I need to hold on to is Jesus. The good that is worth fighting for is what He has called me to do. So I will keep fighting, because Sam is right, it is worth fighting for. P.S. That little weird looking creature's name is Gollum and I plan to do a character analysis of him by the end of the summer. Watch for it! Also I am a forever student and can't help doing nerdy things. 

Near the end of April I came across a blog post that was encouraging people to get rid of items in their house every day for a month. So on the first day you get rid of one thing and on the second day you get rid of two things, so on an so forth. In total you would be giving away 496 items if you do this in a month with 31 days. I thought, "hmmm that's interesting" and then went on with my day. Levi and I met up with our friends Jake and Courtney for lunch and I was telling them about this blog. Some how we all (except Levi) came to the agreement to do it together! The deal was that Courtney and I would text each other pictures of what we were getting rid of that day. The plan was set and I was so ready for April to begin. To some that seems strange (yes, I am referring to Levi again) but God started working on my heart many months ago. Let me explain... When we moved to Coeur d'Alene Levi and I had to get rid of a plethora of items from our house in Truckee. We liv...

Wow, it has been three months since I have posted anything. How sad. But it is a perfect representation of how busy I have been this last semester. I thought it would be a perfect time to stop and reflect on my past year at Whitworth University. I have found that since I am a married, "older", an off-campus living college student, some things are a little different for me. In other words I am not your traditional college student. You have been warned, just kidding, but not really. First off, being married really changes the game on priorities. I could not have asked for a more supportive husband then I have. Levi is so much more then words can even describe. God reminders me every day that Levi is a gift to me and I should cherish that gift. Now that little sappy story is exactly why being married changes what I focus on. I do not have all the time in the world to stuff for my exams, write papers and do homework. I have to carve out time to spend with Levi on the weekends. ...

Psalms 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  On Sunday I had finished a long run for the first time in awhile. When I slowed down and came to a walking pace I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude for my legs. Sounds odd I know but I did. I began to thank Jesus for my legs, for my passion for running, for giving me a determined spirit, for giving me the ability to accomplish my dreams, basically thanking Him for making me and giving me the strengths that I have in life. I had one of my moments of hearing from Him where it’s not different voice but my own voice saying something I could not have come up with myself. I heard “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” As I typed that I had the same reaction I did when I heard it…tears. Sometimes, more often then I would like to admit, I have days of doubt. Days of not feeling pretty, slim, or simply not good enough. It was a reminder for ...

It has been officially been 6 months since we arrived in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho. Crazy. Some days it feels like we have lived here for years and other days it feels like yesterday that I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest with grief as I drove out of the Tahoe Forest Church campground.  Life changes so quickly. I have been trying to be very present with my emotions and the events of the past 6 months. I don't want to look back at this time and wish I would have been more present here in CDA. But I also don't want to try and replace my memories from Truckee to hid the grief that is sometimes more real than the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement when I run. How does one balance all of these things? I don't know. I do know that as hard as this change can be I believe we made the right decision. I truly believe this is where we are suppose to be right now. I can't tell you where God will lead us 5 years from now but I can tell you I will trust Him ...

There is absolutely no denying that most people love summers. I am one of those people! After a much needed FaceTime date with the Danielle and Nathan talking about summer and fun summer plans, it gave me this HUGE desire for summer. To settle my restless heart after we got done with our date I started a list of things we wanted to do this summer. I asked Levi what his summer goals where....he had the best answer in the world...  I kid you not. This was his answer. That's why I love him, he always reminds me to not take things to seriously, even in my list making modes. But I am so excited for summer. Our plans so far consist of biking, hiking, camping, and of course visiting Truckee! I don't like wishing time away but I do wish winter were over! I am ready for warm weather. We did go on a hike on Saturday. It was lovely, a little chilly but so much fun. Mineral Ridge... Photos taken by the famous Levi Ponczoch ;)

A couple months ago I was driving home from school and I was STRESSING. To. The. MAX. For me that is normal, unfortunately . I am a planner and a doer which in less flattering terms means I am a worry wart. I want my life to go as I have planned. I want to know the future. I want to have my bills paid BEFORE they are due. I want to be in control. Have you noticed all the "I's"? I was busy driving and telling God what I thought was going wrong and why He needed to show up on "my time" (Bold, yea I have a problem I heard very loudly, "Emily, if you don't trust me, do you even believe in me?"* Now my thoughts started racing in a whole other direction . I felt like defending myself, making excuses. Such as "whoa God! I didn't say that. You know that I need structure, you know I can't deal with this." But I stopped myself and just sat in the silence. I know that I believe but my actions say otherwise. It was a wake up call for me. ...

How about New Year, Better Me. How about New Year, Less of Me. How about New Year, more Jesus. I am how I am. I believe I was created with my personality because God wants to use me. I don't think He wants the nasty parts of me (I know, shocker, I am nasty), He wants for me to be better, to be great.  We were driving home from my parents house a few nights ago and Levi asked me if I had anything I had planed, goal wise, for 2016. I jokingly said "to survive." Okay maybe that isn't a complete joke. But really, I shared with him how since we moved I have felt an overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit and I didn't want to lose that. I wanted to continue my devotionals and experience God in new ways. We both also talked about how we liked this path we were going to down of having less stuff. Since we decided to move we have been getting rid of things we have no use for. A majority of that was when we had to move our whole apartment into a 5X10 storage unit. That f...