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Hard Truth

A couple months ago I was driving home from school and I was STRESSING. To. The. MAX. For me that is normal, unfortunately. I am a planner and a doer which in less flattering terms means I am a worry wart. I want my life to go as I have planned. I want to know the future. I want to have my bills paid BEFORE they are due. I want to be in control. Have you noticed all the "I's"?
I was busy driving and telling God what I thought was going wrong and why He needed to show up on "my time" (Bold, yea I have a problem I heard very loudly,
"Emily, if you don't trust me, do you even believe in me?"*
Now my thoughts started racing in a whole other direction . I felt like defending myself, making excuses. Such as "whoa God! I didn't say that. You know that I need structure, you know I can't deal with this." But I stopped myself and just sat in the silence. I know that I believe but my actions say otherwise. It was a wake up call for me. I can't just be half in on my walk. I can't only trust God with certain things. I asked for forgiveness and folks let me tell you something this experience truly changed me. I am not saying I haven't worried since then but I have let go of SO MUCH. Seriously. 1. I feel free.
2. I am not stressed.
3. I sleep at night.
4. I don't get as many head aches.
5. I am not always on edge.
6. I am at peace.

Enough said. Short and not so sweet. But sometimes listening to the hard truth can help change your life.

*I did not hear an audible voice. It was more of my inner voice saying something I would never have thought of.

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