Tonight my heart is heavy. Crushed. Grieved. Angry.
Our community lost a 7th grade girl several days ago to suicide. 7th grade. Suicide. Hard to read? Hard to imagine? Yeah, me too.
I did not know Isis Paulsen. But we just sat with some students who did. Students who don't have words for what is going on around them. Students who want answers. Students who are dealing with things that I as an almost 28 year old adult don't even know how to deal with. All you want to do is take that pain away from them. From Isis. Hug them so tight that it squeezes all the darkness out. But we can't. We can be there for them. We can listen to them. We don't have to fix this. We just have to be present. Listen.
Let me tell you a few things I learned tonight about middle school students
1. They are ready to make things different for the future. They are already thinking about how to not let this happen to future generations. One student asked "How do we make sure this doesn't happen to our kids? How do we raise our kids so they don't do this?" Woah. They are ready to change the future. They are seeking ways to create a different world for their children.
2. They have a deep understanding that an action doesn't make a person. That a thought isn't a person. One student while describing who Isis was said "She was so kind. She was always thinking of others. She did not have a mean bone in her body. I know people say suicide is selfish but I don't think she was selfish as a person. Her action was. One action does not define you as a person" Let me tell you, I have a 4 year degree in psychology and there have been studies about how we shouldn't use actions or symptoms to describe people. This 13 year old just told in a matter of seconds what I am still trying to learn.
3. They want to help each other. They were encouraging each other to share their hearts. If someone started to cry and didn't want to finish they would pat the other on the back and say "go ahead. you can do it."
4. They want to remember Isis for how she was. Not how she died. They started a hashtag #blossomforothers in her memory because she loved plants and flowers. And to encourage others to open up or "bloom". In an effort to not keep this in the dark but instead bring it to light. They want to put on a concert to benefit others who may be struggling, in her honor. Someone is writing a song for her.
What it comes down to is they have a huge capacity to love. With that love comes pain and heartache. They need us to walk through this life with them. They need our love and acceptance.
Our community lost a 7th grade girl several days ago to suicide. 7th grade. Suicide. Hard to read? Hard to imagine? Yeah, me too.
I did not know Isis Paulsen. But we just sat with some students who did. Students who don't have words for what is going on around them. Students who want answers. Students who are dealing with things that I as an almost 28 year old adult don't even know how to deal with. All you want to do is take that pain away from them. From Isis. Hug them so tight that it squeezes all the darkness out. But we can't. We can be there for them. We can listen to them. We don't have to fix this. We just have to be present. Listen.
Let me tell you a few things I learned tonight about middle school students
1. They are ready to make things different for the future. They are already thinking about how to not let this happen to future generations. One student asked "How do we make sure this doesn't happen to our kids? How do we raise our kids so they don't do this?" Woah. They are ready to change the future. They are seeking ways to create a different world for their children.
2. They have a deep understanding that an action doesn't make a person. That a thought isn't a person. One student while describing who Isis was said "She was so kind. She was always thinking of others. She did not have a mean bone in her body. I know people say suicide is selfish but I don't think she was selfish as a person. Her action was. One action does not define you as a person" Let me tell you, I have a 4 year degree in psychology and there have been studies about how we shouldn't use actions or symptoms to describe people. This 13 year old just told in a matter of seconds what I am still trying to learn.
3. They want to help each other. They were encouraging each other to share their hearts. If someone started to cry and didn't want to finish they would pat the other on the back and say "go ahead. you can do it."
4. They want to remember Isis for how she was. Not how she died. They started a hashtag #blossomforothers in her memory because she loved plants and flowers. And to encourage others to open up or "bloom". In an effort to not keep this in the dark but instead bring it to light. They want to put on a concert to benefit others who may be struggling, in her honor. Someone is writing a song for her.
What it comes down to is they have a huge capacity to love. With that love comes pain and heartache. They need us to walk through this life with them. They need our love and acceptance.
I was holding it together pretty well, but by the end of #3 I lost it. :(
ReplyDeleteI miss isis isis was my best friend
ReplyDelete