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Purpose

Last night I got lost. Legitimately lost. I absolutely hate being lost. Both physically and spiritually. It's that feeling of no control. As a recovering control freak it is something I am working through. I was at a friends bridal shower in North Spokane. The route I was use to was closed and I had directions written down because my phone was dying. Well at some point I missed a turn. So I turned on my GPS and I didn't realize that it was taking me to the road that was closed. So I ended up lost on some back roads in the dark. I was dependent on my GPS. I literally did not know where to go or what direction to go. Then the inevitable happened...my phone died. To say I freaked out would not even come close to how I was feeling. In the midst of my panic attack I heard a truth in my head. 

"Emily, you are were so dependent on your GPS to guide your way home. You know that you couldn't do it on your own. Why do you act like you know what direction your life should go? Why do you act like you can do it on your own? I AM your guide. Please let me lead you."

Honestly, my first thought was "Really God? I am scared outta my mind and you are teaching me a spiritual lesson?" Yes I know. Always sassy. Even with God. Good thing he still loves me and forgives me. I am working through the sass. But I did try to refocus on that truth when I calmed down and started thinking logically. 

I have been struggling lately as to what God wants me to do in my life. What is my purpose. Where is my life going. What is my next step. In an earlier post I talked about being still and waiting on God's direction in my life. Lately I have felt a stirring. That God is preparing my heart for my next step. But I don't know what that is! We have been going through the book of Ephesians at church and we have been encouraged to also go through it individually at home so that is what I have been doing. This morning I read a verse that lead me to think of another verse. Both verses have truly calmed my spirit and opened my heart to truly lean on God and his direction in my life. Not my own. 

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I am created with a purpose, a purpose that God has prepared me for. That he has made me to be. The things that I am naturally good at are given to me by him! The desires in my heart to help people are not of me but of God. He is preparing me for his purpose. But I get caught up too much in some grand plan for my life. For a career path. Like "Okay God what's your purpose for me! What am I going to be doing by the fall or 10 years from now." However I don't believe that I should get stuck there. In the process of leaning on God there are things that He has already commanded me to do. Such as 

Mark 12:30-31
 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

I need to work on these things. The best way to love God is to do what he commends us to do which is to love my neighbor! Levi gave me this sweater for Christmas

This doesn't even begin to describe all the people that I should love. To love someone means to give them unsurpassable worth. To see them as Christ sees them. That is my purpose. That is my call. I have to give myself to that. My whole self. 

Ephesians 1:9-10
"And He made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purpose din Christ to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment-to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ."

The mystery of God's will was his will in Christ. I believe that the "mystery"that is my life he will also make known to me. In His time. Not my own. 

Pray that my heart will aline with God's will. That my heart will desire what he desires for me. 

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